English for everyone

It all began one night when a witch flew by my window. Yes, it was a witch. She was old and ugly and she had a big black hat on.
«Hello, Walker,” cried the witch.
“Hello,» I said.
“Do you want to see a flying saucer?”
“Which flying saucer?» I asked, “The big flying saucer with the stripes,” she cried. “Just like your pyjamas.”
“Just like my pyjamas? Where is it?” I asked.
“It’s in the middle of the field, just behind your house,” she cried and flew away.
I couldn’t believe that a flying saucer could have the same stripes as my pyjamas, so I got up, put on my shoes and went out.
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Ogden Nash

He is often called an American heir of Edward Lear and Lewis Carrol. He is considered a greatest combiner of common sense and uncommon nonsense. He is a crazy storyteller and a satirist, a clown and a philosopher.
Ogden Nash (1902—1971) was born in Rye, New York. After school he studied at Harvard, but left it at the end of his freshman year. He first tried teaching at school. Then he worked as a bond salesman on Wall Street and sold only one bond— to his godmother. Then he worked at the advertising department of a publishing house. In 1931 he joined the editorial staff of the New Yorker. The same year his first collection of verses was published. The success of the book was immediate and since then Ogden Nash devoted his entire time to writing.
Nash created his own style. He is the master of surprising words which don’t seem to rhyme and yet they do, words which do not exist in the English language, still everybody easily recognises and understands them. His mad, sad, funny and brilliant verses are popular with children and with grown-ups.
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Tale of Genji

Who wrote the first novel in the world?
About 1,000 years ago, a young woman in Japan began to write a story of an imagined prince Genji, “the shining one”. The prince was not only handsome and charming, but also intelligent and talented.
Today, “The Tale of Genji”, written by Murasaki Shikibu in the early eleventh century, is considered to be the world’s first modern novel. It consists of 54 chapters describing Genji’s life and his numerous love adventures.
Little is known about Murasaki Shikibu. The name itself is a pen-name. She was probably born in 975 and died in 1025. After the death of her husband, she served in the imperial court during the reign of Empress Akiko.
She wrote the novel in her own hand and the empress was the first to read it. The novel was so good that ladies-in-waiting and courtiers stole unfinished copies from her room.
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Can you solve the mystery?!

It was a cold morning in October. Holmes and I were sitting by the fire when Mrs Hudson knocked at our door.
“There’s a telegram for you, Mr Holmes,” she said, and left.
“It’s from Lestrade,” Holmes said. “Come at once to 23 Hill Street. Woman murdered. Well, Watson, the game is afoot.”
We soon arrived on the scene. Inspector Lestrade greeted us at the front door of the victim’s house.
«A bad business, this,” he said. “Messy, too. The poor woman’s head has been shattered like an eggshell. Here’s the murder weapon.” He held out a revolver. Its handle was in blood.
“Any suspects?” Holmes asked.
“None at present, Mr Holmes,” answered the little inspector. “We talked to the servants. They’d been given the night off and were out the whole time. They’ve just come back and found the woman like this.”
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I met Richards ten or more years ago when I first went down to Cuba. He was a short, sharp-faced, agreeable chap, then about 22. He introduced himself to me on the boat and I was surprised to find that Panamerica Steel was sending us both to the same job.
Richards was from some not very good state university engineering school. Being the same age myself, and just out of technical college I saw at once that his knowledge of engineering was rather poor. I couldn’t imagine how he had managed to get this job.
Richards was naturally likable, and I liked him a lot. The firm had a contract for the construction of a private railroad. For Richards and me it was mostly an easy job of inspections and routine paper work. At least it was easy for me. It was harder for Richards, because he didn’t appear to have mastered the use of a slide rule. When he asked me to check his figures I found his calculations awful. “Boy,” I was at last obliged to say, “you are undoubtedly the silliest white man in this province. Look, stupid, didn’t you ever take arithmetic? How much are seven times thirteen?” “Work that out,” Richards said, “and let me have a report tomorrow.”
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Murphy’s Law or Sod’s law is the natural tendency for things to go wrong if it is possible for them to go wrong.

Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. — Все, что может пойти не так пойдет не так.
Nothing is as easy as it looks. — Все не так просто, как кажется.
Everything takes longer than you think. — Все занимает больше времени, чем вы думаете.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse. — Предоставленные самим себе, дела, как правило, идут от плохого к худшему.
Everything that goes up must come down. — Все, что поднимается вверх, должно опуститься вниз.
The bus that left the stop just before you got there is your bus. — Автобус, который отъехал от остановки прямо перед вами — это ваш автобус.
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This photograph, taken by Dorothea Lange, was widely published and symbolized the Great Depression.

One Thursday afternoon in October 1929, a workman outside an upper floor window of a Wall Street office found himself staring into the eyes of four policemen. They reached out to catch hold of him. “Don’t jump!” shouted one of the policemen. “It’s not that bad.” “Who’s going to jump?” asked the surprised worker. “I’m just washing windows!”
To understand this incident we need to look at what had been happening in Wall Street in the months and years before that October afternoon in 1929.
Wall Street is the home of the New York Stock Exchange. Here dealers called stockbrokers buy and sell shares.
Owning shares in a business gives you the right to a share of its profits. But you can make money from shares in another way. You can buy them at one price and then, if the company does well, sell them later at a higher one.
More and more people were eager to get some of this easy money. By 1929, buying and selling shares had become almost a national hobby.
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