Arthur Rubenstein

Imagination was given to man
to compensate him for what he is not;
a sense of humour to console him for what, he is.
So keep smiling.
Anonymous

After a concert, Arthur Rubenstein was approached by a woman who was dragging a nine-year-old boy. “Please, Mr Rubenstein,” she said, “I want you to hear my son play the piano.” “Madam,” the pianist said, “I’m very busy. I don’t have time to hear every child play the piano.”
But the mother persisted until Rubenstein finally agreed to an audition the next day. The little boy, his legs barely touching the pedals, played a Chopin waltz. When it was over, Rubenstein said, “That is undoubtedly the worst playing I’ve ever heard.”
The mother nodded and said to her son, “You see? So now will you give up your piano lessons and try out for Little League?”
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Limericks

British people are very fond of limericks — short humorous poems full of absurdity and wit. The classic limerick has 5 lines, three long and two short ones. It usually begins by introducing a person and a place and often has a surprise in the last line. Here is an example:
There was a Young Lady of Niger,
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger.
They returned from the ride
With the lady inside
And the smile on the face of the tiger.
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Are you a liar?

“No,” most people will say indignantly. But if you ask the question, “Do you always tell the truth?” the answer will not be so certain.
Let us give an example. You meet someone in the street who you used to go to college with. «How are you?» you ask (Lie #1. You really don’t care.) «Fine, thanks,» he answers. (Lie #2. He has got a terrible headache.) “You look well,” you say. (Lie #3. You don’t think he looks well at all.) When you say good-bye, you add, «Have a good time.» (Lie #4. You actually do not wish this at all because you have never liked him.) He says, «Anyway, let’s keep in touch.» (Lie #5. He hopes he will never see you again.)
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Musical Cats

Musical comedies, or musicals, have become America’s most significant contribution to world theatre. Musical comedy is a type of play that tells a story through a combination of dialogue, songs, and dances.
Musical comedy developed in the United States during the late 1800s. It shared roots with both European and American popular forms of entertainment. European influences included the operetta, or light opera, and extravaganza, or spectacle. The basic American influences were vaudeville, minstrel show, and burlesques.
Musical comedy differs from other forms of musical shows. It has a simple but distinctive plot which unifies all of its other elements: the book, or the libretto, the music, the lyrics, and the dancing.
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Too many cooks spoil the borth. Photo: creativityhacker.ca

There are proverbs and proverbial expressions in every language.
They are handed down from generation to generation and are supposed to have a universal value. People use them to give a word of advice or of warning, or a wise general comment on a situation. In fact, our daily conversation would seem rather dull without them.
Here are some proverbs connected with food and eating. Can you match the proverbs and the meanings?

1. Forbidden fruit tastes sweetest.
2. One man’s meat is another man’s poison.
3. Half a loaf is better than none.
4. An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
5. You can’t have your cake and eat it. More »

Hit and Run

Kate and Jim walked to the park,
And on the corner they met Clark.
Clark then walked with Kate and Jim,
And soon they stopped to take a swim.

While at the pool, they all asked Mark
To go with them to the park,
Mark said, sure, he’d love to go,
He’d even bring his best friend Joe.
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Etiquette. Taking Leave

Taking Leave

Very often it is difficult to know how to stop a conversation and leave a party. Usually people do not quit talking, say good-bye and leave each other abruptly. It is quite normal to say some time before you leave that you are going to do so:
I’m afraid I must be going now.
I must be off, I’m afraid.
Must be going, I’m afraid.
I really have to go now. It’s getting late. Good-bye.
I’m afraid I can’t stay any longer. Good-bye and thank you.
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